Welcome to #RelationshipMatters on #InspireAfricaProject! Yesterday, we looked at the wonderful offer Mr. Meat made to John who was in love with his daughter Becky. Some of us have different opinions on what we will do if our future father-in-law offer us that kind of opportunity.
Some said if they love the lady and the lady loves them, they will accept the condition. Others said that since it’s not easy to initiate an idea and grow your own business, they will accept the opportunity Mr. Meat presented to them. Let’s go back to the story and see what John did.
“John listened to all the things Mr. Meat said. Then Mr. Meat made the assumptive close, “I know exactly what you are thinking. You are saying to yourself, ‘John, you are the luckiest guy in the world.’ John was never actually given a real opportunity to respond that night- Mr. Meat thought he had signed up another son-in-law. So John just went to his assigned room and went to sleep.
He left for his parents’ home the next day. He did speak with Becky a few times by phone before the next semester- she seemed as excited about the “family plan” as her father. John waited until he and Becky were back at the university to break the news. There would be no engagement and ultimately no marriage with the family plan. Becky was true to Mr. Meat more that his beau’s wishes. In reality, she probably loved John, but she was not interested in marrying someone who would take her outside the lifestyle designed and programmed by her parents.
Why did John turn down what some might call an opportunity of a lifetime? In a nutshell, he has a strong need to be independent. He found it insulting that anyone would propose to dictate his lifestyle. Mr. Meat was in love with the meat business, but John had no affection for it, nor was he even marginally impressed with any part of Mr. Meat’s operating style.
John had a great deal of confidence in his own abilities. He was an excellent student at a rather demanding state university, and his sights were set on being recruited by a top public corporation. In his mind, the corporate world had high-quality executive training and great opportunities for bright, ambitious people.
John had other problems with Mr. Meat’s proposal. He wondered about the productivity of hiring executives based on who they married. If Mr. Meat’s two other sons-in-law were losers, who would pick up the slack? Common sense told John that nepotism was not the best way to select and promote executives.
He was particularly incensed by the potential domestic problems that were likely to occur. John and Becky would be given a home by Mr. Meat, but whose name would be on the deed? How would domestic disputes be handled? It would be easy for Becky to say; John, this is my house. It is the house that my daddy paid for…so if you don’t like the way I’m doing things, you can leave! Of course, it will be difficult for a son-in-law of Mr. Meat to leave. Leaving would mean more than moving out of the home- it would also mean giving up one’s career as an executive at Mr. Meat’s operation.
John realized that under such condition he would never be the head of his own household. Disputes would probably be handled outside the home, inside the court of Mr. Meat. John also realized that he misjudged Becky. He’d never thought that she would be willing to live under such conditions. Clearly, she had more affinity for her parents and their domineering lifestyle than for the orientation of her future husband.
Given John’s ambition and need to be independent, he clearly made the proper decision. Today he is a successful corporate executive and has reached millionaire status on his own. John realizes that it’s the struggle, the self-made journey to success that makes us strong. Subsidies from Mr. Meats can make one independent. What if Mr. Meat dies suddenly? What if it turns out that he has no intention of giving his business to his sons-in-law? Worse, what if he is merely looking for dependent stooges to dominate?”- Thomas J. Stanley.
If you ask me what I will do if I was in John’s shoe, my answer is simple; I will do what John did. I won’t even give it a second thought because I like be independent. Do you know what it means for a man to insult you because he feels you have no option, and he is your god? Some men are slaves in their homes today because if they correct their wives in love, his “savior” father-in-law will no longer support them and can even take back his business.
I discovered a secret about life and productivity. The moment you depend on someone who volunteered to be giving you handouts, you will never be serious in life. There are many young men who became young women in their homes because free money is coming from their “messiah” father-in-law. What if the man suddenly dies and your name and that of your wife is not in his will? What if your mother-in-law saw you as a parasite, and the moment her husband dies she will have an opportunity to get rid of you forever?
No matter how difficult things are for you, don’t ever put your trust in another man because he can change tomorrow! Like I pointed out yesterday, there is nothing wrong in getting married to a rich man’s daughter, some people did it and they are living in peace. My advise is, even if you’re getting married to the daughter of a billionaire, don’t show the man that you are a weakling or a parasite! Be a man and be contented with what you have.
I heard about a guy who vowed never to collect a dime from his wealthy father-in-law because he doesn’t want to loose respect in his house. There is nothing bad in receiving help from your father-in-law, but don’t allow another man to become your Jehovah Jireh!
God said; “Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, and shall not see when good comes, but shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, in a salt land which is not inhabited. “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:5-8.
May the Lord help you to make the right choice when you want to marry. May He help those who are already married to live in peace, in Jesus matchless name! Wisdom is profitable to direct! Did you learn anything from this discussion? Let’s hear from you. Keep soaring!
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