Welcome to #InspireAfricaProject! If you hear some of the things that leads to quarrel in marriages, you will laugh. For example, one day, a couple who exchanged unpleasant words for hours went to see a servant of God to settle the quarrel. He asked them what caused the quarrel? Guess what? Toothpaste!
The wife usually squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, and the husband insisted that she must squeeze it from the bottom because that was what his parents taught him. Unfortunately, his wife grew up squeezing toothpaste anywhere she likes. This matter wouldn’t have led to a quarrel if the man had bought two toothpaste and allow his wife to squeeze her own wherever she likes, while he follows his own rule.
A woman woke up one day and told her husband that she was filing for divorce. Do you know what led to that? The husband loves kissing the wife, but he won’t brush his teeth. The woman had begged, knelt down on several occasion to plead with him, and even kept the toothpaste and brush close to the mans bed, yet he won’t brush his teeth. She decided that enough is enough. Whenever you hear that a marriage is about to break up, what led to that, in most cases wasn’t a serious matter. Unfortunately, they magnified it.
“Ever stopped to ask yourself just what causes quarrel? At least 99 percent of the time, quarrels start over petty, unimportant matters like: John comes home a little tired, a little on edge. Dinner doesn’t exactly please him, so he turns up his nose and complains.
Joan’s day wasn’t perfect either, so she rallies to her own defense with, “Well, what do you expect on my food budget?” Or “Maybe I could cook better if I had a new stove like everybody else.” This insults John’s pride, so he attacks with, “Now, Joan, it’s not lack of money; it’s simply that you don’t know how to manage.”
And away they go! Before a truce is finally declared, all sorts of accusations are made by each party. In-laws, out-laws, sex, money, premarital and postmarital promises, and other issues will be introduced. Both parties leave the battle nervous, tense. Nothing has been settled, and both parties have new ammunition to make the next quarrel more vicious.”~David J. Schwartz.
Probably you returned home and discovered that your husband had messed up the house you cleaned up before you went to work. Or you returned from work and discovered that the meal you asked your wife to prepare was not even on fire. At this point you must choose either a happy home, or frowning one. Always think about the end result of any action you want to take when you’re offended. Situations like I just illustrated has led to the disintegration of families.
I discovered that when a couple have issues, it seems as if the devil sits on their shoulders to help prolong the matter. The devil will say to the husband, “Remember that you’re the head of this house, you should not apologize first. If you do that, you will loose respect.” Then he will sit on the woman’s shoulders and say to her, “Remember that he is the one that offended you. He should apologize first.”
If the couple buys into that first line of suggestions, that short devil will move into the second stage. If the woman is smiling while talking to someone on the phone, that short devil will whisper into the man’s ears, “This woman is not even remorseful at all. Go and slap her! Show her that you’re the man of the house!”
If the wife notice that the husband is no longer coming home as early as he used to do, probably because of workload, that voice will say to her, “Look at this foolish man, so he is coming home late now so that I will beg him for forgiveness. In fact, I will start coming home late too.”
Am sure someone who is reading this article right now is presently acting this drama with his or her spouse. My advise is, go home right now and give that short devil a bloody nose by apologizing to your spouse. Don’t allow pettiness to tear your home apart! The three most important words in human history are, “I am sorry.” Many wars that led to the death of thousands of people could have been averted if someone had apologized. If you say I am sorry, this world will not come to an end. Call that person right now and apologize. Take back your marriage !
To eliminate quarrels, eliminate petty thinking. Here’s a technique that works: before complaining or accusing or reprimanding someone or launching a counterattack in self-defense, ask yourself, “Is it really important?” In many cases, it isn’t and you avoid conflict.
When you feel like taking negative action, ask yourself, “Is it really important?” That question works magic in building a finer home situation. It works at the office too. It works in home-going traffic when another driver cuts in ahead of you. It works in any situation in life that is bound to produce quarrels.
David J. Schwartz said, “Keep your eyes focused on the big objective. Many times we are like the salesman who, failing to make the sale, reports to his manager, “Yes, but I sure convinced the customer he was wrong.” In selling, the big objective is winning sales, not arguments. In marriage the big objective is peace, happiness, tranquility, not winning quarrels or saying, “I could have told you so.”
In working with employees, the big objective is developing their full potential, not making issues out of their minor errors. In living with neighbors, the big objective is mutual respect and friendship, not seeing if you have their dog impounded because once in a while it barks at night.” Dear friend, get rid of petty thinking. Forgive immediately. When your spouse makes a mistake, kindly correct in love so that both of you can live in peace. Wisdom is profitable to direct!
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