Welcome to #LeadershipLessons on #InspireAfricaProject! I read some tweets few days ago that prompted me to write this article. A young lady said, “I don’t know what my fathers body feels like. Why? I’ve never hugged him. Why? Because he was busy manning up!” She went on to say, “There is a clear difference between respect and fear. Fathers enjoy fear. Why?” She concluded with this painful tweet, “I still shiver at any missed call from my Dad. The best way to send me to bed was, “Chi, Daddy is back.” Am sure some of us can clearly understand what this young lady said. Some fathers chase their children away with their demeanor, that’s why many fail to raise successors.
One of the things am learning from some ministers of God and individuals in America is how they succeeded in raising successors before they retire or die. Kenneth E. Hagin raised Kenneth W. Hagin who succeed him when he died. Kenneth Copeland is still alive, but he has raised Jeremy Pearson, his grandson. If you watch Daystar television you will discover that Marcus and Joni Lamb are already raising Jonathan their son and Susie, Jonathan’s wife to take over.
One of my favorite ministers of God, John Hagee is the fifth generation pastor and the forty-seventh descendant of his family to preach the gospel since they emigrated to America from Germany. He has succeeded in nurturing Matthew Hagee who is gradually taking over from him.
President George H. W. Bush the 41st president of the United States of America succeeded in raising George W. Bush who ended up as the 43rd president of the United States of America. He didn’t stop there, he equally raised Jeb Bush, who was the 43rd governor of Florida, who also ran for the presidential ticket under the Republican party.
My mentor and the one whose books provoked the lion in me to roar, Dr. Myles Monroe didn’t know the day he would die, but he spent time raising Charisa and Chairo Myles Junior to take over from him and his wife. Even before he died, his children had started running his organization. What if he died without raising anyone to continue his legacy? That is where most Africans fail.
In his book, The Principles of Fatherhood, Dr. Myles Monroe defined father in an interesting way. He said, “There are two words used in the Bible that are translated “father.” One is in the Old Testament, and it is the Hebrew word Ab. The Hebrew consonants spell “father”- aleph and beth. Abba, meaning “Daddy,” comes from the root Hebrew word father, Ab.
In the New Testament, the word for father is pater. So, you have Ab and Abba in the Old Testament Hebrew, and pater in the New Testament Greek. What does Ab and pater mean? Both words denote very basic concepts that include the following: Source, Norisher, Sustainer, Supporter, Founder and Protector.”
Dear father, you are not a boss, tyrant, and a killer whose job is to terrify everyone in his home. Why should your children run into their rooms when they hear the sound of your car? Why should your children switch off the television and every other thing in the house because you’re coming back from the office? If God behaves that way can you approach Him when you commit sin? Why sure you terrifying everyone in your house? Stop that now!
If you chase your children away, they will definitely embrace the wrong person. A father should become his children’s best friend. Your children should love you so much that they can tell you anything. Your daughters should confide in you when they are facing temptation and harassment from the opposite sex.
Am sure a father who is reading this article might say just like our ancestors, “If I become too friendly with my children won’t they disrespect me?” Listen, your children knows that you’re their father, and respect for parents are natural to everybody. Did anybody tell you to respect your father? Terrifying your children won’t make them respect you, rather they will see you as a tyrant and an enemy. That’s why some of them ends up as rebels.
Some fathers have lost their children to dangerous vices because of this attitude. When a father looks for every opportunity to scold or flog his children, they will hate him and start confiding in strangers who will definitely lead them astray. That’s why your teenage daughter will wake up one day and become a rebel. She can even arrange criminals to beat you up. Respect is reciprocal. Respect your children and treat them like human being. My greatest joy is playing with my children. We are friends.
Look at how my friend, Paul puts it; Ephesians 6:1-4. Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”
The duty of children is to obey and respect their parents so that they will live long and prosper. To reciprocate their obedience and respect, fathers should not provoke their children, otherwise they will become rebels in your home. It’s a mutual thing. In the next article, I will dwell on those six definitions of a father. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
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